Raising the Dead

Adrienne pulled her cloak more tightly around her, ignoring the fact that she was wearing a cloak in the first place. She knelt before the headstone, placing a bouquet of flowers in front of it. The engraving read: "Conquistador IV: A loyal and loving fish that any Chanadian would be proud of." Adrienne sniffed and stood, slowly making her way back home through the graveyard.

Adrienne shielded her eyes as the heavy clouds parted, revealing bright moonlight that shone down into the graveyard, particularly on one fairly new grave.

Suddenly, a hand popped out of the grave and grabbed Adrienne's ankle. She screamed, and tried to run away. The hand's grip didn't loosen, even as it was followed by a head, shoulders, knees, and toes.

Adrienne stared at the zombie, in shock. "M-Mike? Aren't you supposed to be dead?"

"No, you guys just buried me by mistake."

"Oh. But I killed you with a single punch! Like Billy Budd!"

"Billy who?"

"Billy Budd, you know, the book?"

"Never read it. Don't forget, I have a 2.4 GPA."

Adrienne nodded. "That's right." She screamed again and wrenched her arm out of Mike's grip and started running as fast as she could. She had to find her friends and figure out what was going on? What was that moonbeam? And why was it...RAISING THE DEAD?!

She stopped. 'But he wasn't really dead...' she thought. 'Oh, nevermind.' She kept running as fast as she could.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Katie was deep in thought in her secret treehouse lab, when her friend Lisa entered via the secret elevator. "Hey, Katty, what's up?"

Katie didn't respond. She seemed to be deep in thought, her eyes scanning over the large map in front of her.

"Hello! Katty! What's wrong, can't you hear me? Or are your ears closened up?"

Katie jumped up without warning. "Aha! I have it! The answer to all our problems! And coconuts!"

"Coconuts? I'm in."

"We're going to run away to Palau."

"What? Palau?"

Katie grinned. "It's a microstate. We learned that in HumGeo," she said, winking.

"But why are we going there?" Lisa asked.

"Just think! No homework, no tests, no Stoner! Only tropical goodness!"

Lisa jumped up and down excitedly. "When do we leave?"

"Now."

Luckily, Lisa already had her bags mysteriously packed and the two were able to escape using Katie's secret emergency hang gliders.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

At that very moment, Adrienne had just made it to the wharf. She read the driftwood sign aloud. "The Wharf," it read. "Wharf? Star Trek? Score!" She glanced behind her to see Mike running after her not too far behind. She ran as fast as she could down the dock and jumped on a random ship, using an axe that happened to be lying there to cut the ropes that held it to the dock.

The exhausted Chanadian heaved a sigh of relief, slumping down onto the wooden deck, when suddenly, a shadow fell over her. She looked up to see a girl about her age standing over her menacingly. The girl almost looked like..."Anneliese?" Adrienne said aloud.

"Arrgh, me matey! I be not Anneliese! I be Captain Brown Beard, captain of this here vessel. She said, making wild gestures with the hook which served as her hand, while stomping around on her peg leg.

A parrot randomly landed on her shoulder. "Cap'n Brown Beard! Cap'n Brown Beard!" it squawked.

"Arggh!" cried the distraught pirate. "Get away, ye filthy bird!"

"That's not very nice," said Adrienne.

"That there beast pecked out me eye! Why do ye think I be wearing this here patch!" she said, pointing to her eye patch, causing it to fall off, revealing a perfectly functional eye. "Um...fine, I'm Anneliese. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted." She sat down by Adrienne. "What brings you here to the H.M.S. Indomitable."

"The what?"

"Um...nothing."

"Okay. I was running away from Mike."

"Didn't you kill him?"

"I thought so too, but it seems that he was never-" She was cut off by a large crash as two hang gliders landed on deck a few feet away from them. She grinned as she recognized Lisa and Katie through all the debris. "Hey, guys!"

"Adrienne!" said Katie. "Anneliese! Why are you guys here?"

"Arrgh, I be the captain of this here-" began Anneliese. She was cut off by a glare from Adrienne. "Oh, fine, I came aboard this ship because it looked like it would be fun."

"I'm running away from Mike."

Lisa looked at her strangely. "Isn't he-"

"Dead?" finished Adrienne. "I thought so too, but apparently he's still alive and still as creepy as ever."

"You bet I am," came a voice from behind her.

Adrienne screamed and jumped back. "Mike! How did you get aboard?"

"I was holding onto the anchor the whole time!" said Mike. "And now I'm here, and I'm not leaving until you decide to marry me!"

Adrienne screamed even louder. "Help me!" she cried.

"Did somebody call for help?" said a voice.

The entire group looked up to see Faze 2 perched in the Crow's Nest, rope in hand. He swung down gallantly, sweeping up Adrienne and putting her up on a higher deck, away from Mike. He then swung back down to face Mike, whipping out a sword.

"She's mine!" cried Mike, whipping out a sword of his own.

"Never!" yelled Faze 2, lunging at his adversary, and competitor for the affections of Adrienne.

Mike blocked his attack and tried to hit Faze 2, but he easily parried the blow and knocked Mike down. Mike scrambled for a life boat, but Faze 2 stopped him and forced him out onto the plank, knocking his sword into the churning sea. Mike hovered precariously at the edge of the plank, gulping as he glanced down to see a random group of circling sharks.

"You'll never defeat me! I'm a buccaneer!" Faze 2 poked him with a finger, and he fell deep into the ocean, never to be seen again. (Or was he?)

Faze 2 rushed back to Adrienne's side. "Are you all right?"

"Is Mike dead?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm alright."

The others on the lower deck smiled, happy for their friend.

"So, Palau anyone?" asked Katie.

Anneliese grinned. "Sounds good to me," she said, taking the wheel and setting the course for the North Pacific Ocean. She let Cappy-V take over and laid on a lounge chair next to Lisa and Katie, who were toasting each other and drinking tropical drinks out of coconuts with little umbrellas. They handed one to Anneliese.

"To a new, school-less life," said Lisa.

"Here, here!" said Katie and Anneliese.

The three lay back and basked in the sun, while Adrienne remained up top with Faze 2, who finally asked her out. And they all lived-

Adrienne awoke to the annoying sound of her beeping alarm clock. "Ugh. That figures, right at the happy ending." She shook her head. "I've been reading too much Billy Budd."

END